The winner of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which challenges writers to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels, is Cathy Bryant of Manchester, England. She crafted the following epic:
"As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting."
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